Thoughts on Navigating the Liminal State
Are you feeling stuck in limbo? You may actually be in liminal.
The term liminal means a lot to us at Luminal Development, as it’s the reason we opened our (metaphorical) doors this year. Derived from the Latin word “limen” which means threshold, liminal space is a concept that describes moving from one thing, a space or moment, to the next. We particularly like to explore the psychological concept of being caught between a past that is clearly over - or ending - and a future that has yet to begin. This may be a working space, such as changing careers or looking for a big promotion, or it could be a life space like getting married, having children, or losing a parent.
In any case, when you’re in the liminal space, you’re likely to feel some semblance of grief about what’s over and what you’ve lost in the transition, as well as anxiety or even fear about what’s coming next. This is made more intense when “what’s coming next” remains a big question mark.
Let’s talk about how to work through the liminal to what’s next for you.
Focus on Your Locus (of Control)
For many of us, the liminal state chose us, not the other way around. That means that not only are we in a state of change, we also may not have wanted that change in the first place. And even when we do choose a moment of transition, it’s unlikely that all aspects of this new stage are within our control, intensifying feelings of fear. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by all the things that are not going the way we want them to, or how we expected, but dwelling on the parts we can’t do anything about is a recipe for continued “stuckness.” When you allow yourself to: 1) Look at the out of your control element and acknowledge it as such, and then, 2) Shift your gaze to what you actually do have control over, you’ll start to feel less stuck.
Remember Your Last Positive Change
Can you remember the last time you had a positive transformation experience? Maybe you recall when you successfully launched your own side hustle, or advocated for and got a big promotion, or maybe you remember a personal moment of change, like becoming a parent. The best experience will be one that was hard and scary - but that ultimately improved your life dramatically in some way. The purpose in doing this reflection is to remind yourself that you are capable of moving through phases of life, and that with great change can come great happiness. And if you remember some skills you used to get through the prior change? Even better to help you now.
Dig Back Into Your Values
During moments of transition, returning to your values can be like coming home. When living our lives thoughtfully and purposefully honoring our most important values is when we are our most creative, in-flow and authentically ourselves. Haven’t visited your values in awhile? We love using Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead List of Values, a phenomenal tool for both defining what values are and for considering which matter most to you. A tip: There is no superior value. Be honest with yourself about what feels right and then look at your current moment of change. What value could use a little more space right now? How can you honor it in this moment?
Envision Your Impact
How do you want people to remember you? What do you want them to say about you when you’re not in the room? Exploring the impact you want to make long-term can be a huge motivator to come out on the other side of the liminal state because, by definition, impact requires forward movement. And once you’ve determined that, consider: What is one small step you could take this week to get a tiny bit closer to being that kind of person? Let yourself take that step and celebrate when you do - it’s the first toward your next iteration.
Still feeling stuck?
Exiting the liminal state usually takes more than reading an article or too (even a deeply thought-provoking and amazing one like this!) Leadership and performance coaching is perfect for folks navigating a liminal moment. Reach out to learn more about our coaching packages and how we support clients to enter the next phase.
