Is Your Inner Critic Taking Up Too Much Brainspace?
Beliefs about ourselves operate below the surface, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have an outsized impact.
The inner critic’s role
In order to combat your inner critic, you first have to acknowledge what they are and need. Each of us innately observes and evaluates our own actions, drawing conclusions about what we should do next, how we should approach the world, and who we truly are at our cores. This is an important process to ensure we course correct when we need to.
The problem arises when this (mostly subconscious) observing leaves us feeling lacking and negative; that’s when our inner critic is speaking to us. The inner critic often pushes us to be overly self-reliant, to be perfectly productive, or - on the flip side - to shut down and avoid. The problem is that our inner critics are never satisfied. They want more than we can give and, ultimately, don’t believe that we can provide what they are asking of us.
Identifying the inner critic
The inner critic doesn’t necessarily like to be found out; it’s happier to stay in the back of your brain and play games with your sanity. But identifying the voice in your head is the first vital step to take action to combat it. Your inner critic may be dominating your brain if you’re doing any of the following:
✔ Avoiding
✔ Deflecting
✔ Complaining
✔ Procrastinating
✔ Manipulating
✔ Sympathy seeking
If any of these dissonate actions resonate with your state of mind, that’s OK. The neutralizing agent to the inner critic is awareness. Here are some tips on how to continue to build it and address the less-than-helpful voice inside your head.
1) Appeal to your more reasonable self
When you’re experiencing any of the above behaviors, call upon your more sensible voice of reason. The best way to do so is to ask yourself a grounding question, such as, “How true is that?” or, “Is that the only way of seeing this situation?” Simple enough inquiries, but they pack a powerful punch when it comes to dispelling your own self-limiting beliefs. Utilize them generously.
2) Open up the conversation
You’ve identified your inner critic, but they’re still stubbornly hanging around. Sometimes, you need to move beyond acknowledgement to actually engaging with your inner critic. This may feel a little wild (Aren’t you essentially talking to yourself? Well, yes.), but it’s super effective. Literally ask your inner critic what it needs to move on. Listen to the response and see if you’re willing to provide it. Then, tell your inner critic what you need - for them to quiet down a bit, for them to believe in you, for them to watch you try something different - and see where the conversation takes you.
3) Try something more self-affirming
If your inner critic really wants to hang around, replacing their voice with a planned response can be enormously effective. A self-affirming belief is simply a direct response to whatever the inner critic is telling you. “I am capable of change,” if the critic is saying that you’ll always be stuck in one spot, for example, or “Others’ opinions of me do not define me,” if they’re talking loudly about the voices of others. When you engage with your critic in this way, you’re changing the narrative you have about yourself, and what’s more powerful than that?
Still having trouble silencing your inner critic?
We’ve got you - leadership and performance coaching is often grounded in finding the inner critic’s voice and reframing how you relate to it. Reach out to learn more about the coaching process. All you have to lose is your negative thoughts!
